I know I've talked before about how work can be a downer. Working at a hospital makes you callous fast, even at a small hospital. If you stop and think about stuff you feel sad and tear up or angry and annoyed, so you just don't think about it. There are people coming through the doors with a sob story looking for pain meds because the ones their doctor prescribed a few days ago were "stolen" (for the second time this month) or the woman who tells you how she is going to leave her abusive boyfriend one week comes in a few weeks later all excited because she's pregnant with his baby and she tells you how happy they are together. And so you just don't go beyond the surface of your feelings a lot of times- thus the callouses on your heart. You save the tears for genuine occasions, and then when a situation is worthy of tears- someone losing their spouse or parent or getting bad news, you have no tears to give. It's like even your tear ducts have callouses. So you hug them and say comforting words, and call the hospital's deacon to come in, while you do practical things like call dietary to get them cookies and coffee or the funeral home to arrange pick up.
I think that's the biggest surprise I've had with this job, is how quickly it hardens you up, and not in a good way. You feel guilty about it, but you don't know how to fix it. My husband worked as a law enforcement officer for twelve years, so he gets it, and I'm so happy he doesn't judge me for it. He understands it and just shrugs and smiles and accepts me anyway.
So this week, I'm (cheesily) dedicating my Musical Monday to him.
I know this song is written as a man to a woman, but the general idea is still the same. We work pretty much opposite shifts so the only time we're home together is on every other weekend and Wednesday afternoons. That's like four days, and four afternoons a month. No wonder I often feel like we rarely see each other. It's because we rarely do. But I know he's always there. Just a phone call away. Or sending me a picture of one of our cats doing something stupid. Or a sweet text message while I'm at work.
So, enjoy this lazy, soulful song from Leon Bridges, and go to My So Called Chaos to see what everyone else is listening to.
And don't forget my Spring Cleaning book giveaway! Only three days left to win some great books by female mystery writers!
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